Pokemon Text Battle
by LittleBunnyFooFooMUST-DIE
Summary: This is what happens when you have too much free time and a phone... Different references are made to Harry Potter and Percy Jackson. Craziness and hilarity ensues. Rated T for minor Pokemon violence.


A/N This is what happens when you have too much time and a phone. I got the idea to start this with my friend when I read Boredom: It's Super Effective by Peaches Naughty Cream on fictionpress. My texts are italicized, my friend's (Harriet-Potter3399) are normal. Enjoy.

Disclaimer-Do I look Japanese? No, I do not own Pokemon.

_Simona uses chloroform bandana_

_Sapanda is now paralyzed_

Sapanda uses mental abilities to come out of paralyzation and uses bubble butt to make Simona all fatty and lethargic

_Simona uses fast metabolism_

_her fattiness is gone and speed is raised_

_Simona throws the awesome Oreo pie she made in Sapanda's face_

_the attack is not effective_

Apparently because sapanda uses paper towels to clean her face and shoves them down Simona's throat

_Simona uses regurgitate and spits the soggy paper towels in Sapanda's face_

_Sapanda can no longer see_

_accuracy is lowered_

Sapanda shouts "Enough" and blasts both Simona and the towels into dust by revealing her true godly form

_Simona laughs because Sapanda forgot that she is also a goddess_

_Simona uses a small amount of superglue to repair herself_

Sapanda is angered by her forgetfulness and makes a mental note to destroy all superglue manufacturers

(Pokemon Text Battle is adjourned for dinner)

_Simona blasts awesome music from the 50's (Rosemary Clooney)_

_Sapanda is distracted by the music's awesomeness and goes into a trancelike state_

_Sapanda is hypnotized_

_Sapanda loses a turn_

Sapanda just finished some horrible chicken and regurgitates out of her hypnotizement and all over Simona

_Simona uses her awesome ninja skills from karate and dodges the vomit_

_Simona reminds Sapanda that she was supposed to be missing a turn so she takes two turns now_

_Simona uses her epic dishwashing skills_

_The battleground is cloaked in bubbles and steam_

Sapanda forces Simona to look at pictures of Justin Bieber 'cough' beaver naked

_Simona can not see the pictures because the battleground is cloaked in bubbles and steam_

Sapanda turns the steam around simona into pure gold

_Simona laughs agin because sapanda forgot that gold was pliable so simona uses a fire spell (incendio) to free her feet and get to the nearest stream because everyone know from the incident with King Midas that running water reverses the curse._

_The gold turns back into bubbles._

(Pokemon Text Battle is adjourned for showers)

_Whats this...Simona is evolving_

_Simona was training and waiting patiently until Sapanda finished her shower gaining a ton of xp_

_(evolving music) Simona evolved into Singuin!_

_Singuin learned a new move! the move is illusion!_

While Singuin evolved sapanda watched the fifty best Harry Potter moments and learned a few new tricks. she clears the field of all steam and bubbles and blasts Singuin with insomnia.

Singuin is now asleep

Sapanda is feeling strange...what is this feeling? Oh, my! she has progressed from god power to titan power by eating multiple golden apples of Hesperides. Now she's Sapotter, titan of successful magical movie franchises.

Sapotter is waiting not so patiently. Has her opponent forfeited? fallen asleep eternally? or perhaps died of embarrassment?

sapotter is extremely disappointed her opponent fainted before they could read pure terror that her power could only minimally portray through measly texting.

Sapotter regrets putting singuin to sleep and wakes her up

(Note: While Sapanda/Sapotter texted me this I was asleep like most normal people. I actually go to sleep at a normal time unlike Sapotter)

_Singuin is mad at Sapotter for interrupting her beauty sleep_

_Singuin uses illusion_

_An image of Nate Claro appears next to Sapotter_

_Sapotter is distracted_

_Ooh critical hit_

_Does Sapotter give up yet?_

(I didn't receive a text message back within the hour so i thought she was mad at me for bringing the hypocritical stubborn dragon [Nate Claro] into the Pokemon Text Battle)

_Singuin uses heres a brownie please don't kill meh!_

(It turned out Sapotter was at band practice(but im in band too and there wasn't practice scheduled...Hmmm. I shall further investigate this strange occurrence)

Sapotter uses sonic wave to blast singuin's eardrums out

_Singuin was already deaf from her own singing so the attack is not effective_

_Singuin is eating a strawberry mentos_

_singuin's HP is restored_

The attack vibrates Singuin's brains out

_Singuin uses super glue to glue her brains back in_

Sapotter eats singuin's brains so she can't do that

_Singuin uses angry mob_

_An angry mob chases after Sapotter because she is a cannibal for eating Singuin's brains_

Sapotter now shows singuin a boggart which turns into a dead Jake. The boggart is immune to riddikulus

_The attack is ineffective_

Sure So what does the boggart turn into then?

_I don't know...demons?_

_Singuin uses talk their ears off_

Demons are so not scary

Sapotter dismisses her ineffective attack and conjures up a horrible hairstyle on Singuin's once luscious mane

_Singuin uses her herbal essences shampoo and her is once more luxurious_

_Singuin uses fruit dancer_

_Three very pointy pineapples hurl themselves at Sapotter's head_

Sapotter makes a mental note to destroy herbal essence and all shampoo but her own

_Singuin uses sticky pad shortage_

_Sapotter's mental notes have all been destroyed_

Sapotter laughs and reminds Singuin she had made a mental note and then eats the pineapples

Sapotter uses occlumency against Singuin's attempt to destroy my mental sticky notes

_Singuin reminds Sapotter she can't because she destroyed the app that allowed her to make mental notes_

_Singuin says,"Ha" because she already destroyed them_

What is Singuin talking about?

Sapotter hurls flaming fiendfyre at Singuin

Hem hem Sapotter puts Umbridge under the imperious curse

Umbridge thinks that Singuin is Harry Potter and uses the cruciatos curse on her

_Singuin calls her a toad and kicks her in the shin_

_Being called a toad broke Umbridge of the imperious curse_

Sapotter kills Umbridge lazily and reminds Singuin that fiendfyre is still chasing her

_Singuin decides to fight fire with fire_

_Singuin sends out a dragon shaped ball of Greek fire_

They destroy each other with a blast of heat that singes off Singuin's eyebrow that Sapotter made her grow moments before

_Singuin grows a pair of delicate eyebrows because she can_

Hmmm

Sapotter disapparates and appears behind Singuin and stuns her

_Singuin was quicker than Sapotter and tazed the hand that was ABOUT to stun Singuin_

_Singuin is impatiently waiting for Sapotter to do SOMETHING_

Sorry

Sapotter cuts off her tazed hand before it can cause her pain

Sapotter regenerates a new silver hand

Sapotter attempts to strangle Sapotter

_Singuin yells, "Wormtail" and Sapotter faints from shame...that dirty traitor_

I was the victor of this Pokemon Text Battle. Until next time this is...

Fini


End file.
